As I get older, I find myself more willing to share things that people may not know about me. For example, I have a terrible sense of direction bordering on no sense of direction. If I walked out of my house through the back door, I often got turned around and lost.
This weakness was evident from an early age. When I was in second or third grade, we had a science test where we had to fill in the right answer. One of the questions was, “The sun rises in the (blank) and sets in the (blank). I wrote the sun rises in the morning and sets at night.
Apparently, my teacher was looking for east and west, which I probably did not even know were directions. She wouldn’t even give me partial credit and probably thought I was just being a wise (fill in the blank).
I haven’t figured out why I get lost so often but maybe it’s my Italian heritage. Columbus certainly took a wrong turn because he was supposedly looking for an alternate route to India and the Far East and ended up vacationing in the Bahamas.
For years then as an adult, I employed my late wife Ellen to tell me where to go, which she often did. With her in the front seat, we’d never get lost traveling anywhere. She had an incredible sense of direction, like those swallows who return to Capistrano every year. When she was a child growing up on a farm in Southeast Missouri, she and her family would take summer road trips to visit relatives and Ellen would sit in the front seat with one of those fold-out maps and handle the navigation.
During our marriage she often wondered how I had survived during the 1970s and 80s when, as a sportswriter, I often had to rent a car when on assignment. Well, I would ask the person at the rental car counter for directions, and they would draw some lines in black marker on a map. I would get into my rental car, turn on the interior light, and study the map for 20 minutes as if I were plotting the invasion of Normandy.
But whether I was driving in my neighborhood or trying to find my way to a hotel or stadium on the road, I became proficient at making U turns. In fact, I think I led the nation in making U turns for five years in a row. And I’ll confess, only because the statute of limitations has long expired, I even made U turns at intersections that had signs saying, “No U Turns.” I felt the signs discriminated against those of us who are directionally challenged.
So, you can imagine how excited I was with the arrival of the navigation system in cars. To me, it is second only to the invention of the wheel. But now, there was another woman in my life – Siri. And she would get me from point A to point B without any trouble. Even when traveling with my wife, I insisted on Siri guiding us. You can imagine that created some tense moments between Ellen and Siri.
Getting a navigation system usually meant paying a little more for a car. It was worth it to me because I was saving on gasoline. But technology changes quickly in the 21st Century as navigation apps like Maps. Google Maps and Waze are now on our smart phone with real-time updates dealing with accidents, road closures, traffic jams, where police are hiding and recommendations for taking an alternate route. And with the introduction of Apple Car Play and the Android equivalents, your phone can project the map route onto a screen in your car and away you go.
All the innovations in technology, however, come at a price. Rand McNally, the pioneer of map-making, took an initial hit when navigation systems were introduced. The company, which has been in the map-making for 165 years, reinvented itself to the new normal and introduced software such as StreetFinder, RoadExplorer, a portable GPS device for truckers, ClearDryve wireless headphones and Rand McNally Online, which enabled users to calculate routes and distances. Much of the transformation took place during a period when Rand McNally was sold to Teleo Capital, a private equity fund.
But believe it or not, paper maps are supposedly making a comeback as reported by the American Automobile Association (AAA). Why? I have no idea although one of the reasons offered is nostalgia.
I can’t believe there are people out there who miss unfolding those maps that can never be folded again. At least, not by me. This is one part of the good old days I won’t miss. I don’t miss making U turns.
My recollection is your directions to high schools in Suffolk County. "Take a left turn after the train trestle." Kind of vague, given the number of LIRR trestles.
But I chuckled through this whole piece.